saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
