It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
