Bisexual people are plain selfish.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
