help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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