Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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