I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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