I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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