Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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