i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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