I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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