Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
