remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
that is very illegal...i love you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
