i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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