We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
