drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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