I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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