Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
