im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
