Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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