dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My Higher Power is John Stamos
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
