Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize