We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
