apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
