he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
