I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
