Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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