dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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