I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Do vagina's smell?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
