remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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