If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
