we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
