It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Send help, water and tortillas.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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