is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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