What did we do last night that was yellow?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
