So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We are two peas in an std pod
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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