i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
