Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
