Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
