do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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