We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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