i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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