I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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