So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize