Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
