even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
