You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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