How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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