How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
