wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize