Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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