he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
