I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
