you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
