On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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