New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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