I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
