Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
