people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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