Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
