ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
