zippers are such a cool invention
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
my liver is dry heaving
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
