I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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