Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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