My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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