After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
