I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
