Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
