Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
